#1 2008-06-02 03:43:56

coroloro

Member

Registered: 2008-06-02

Posts: 1

Watching BA helped me rediscover male orgasms

Something I have learned over time, especially growing up in a medical family, is that while men and women seem to differ greatly in their sexual experiences- most famously, in orgasms- there is still a common connection, a thread if you will, between each. I learned that men can even learn to have multiple orgasms with work and control, to an extent- the biggest differential is the clear cut climax men experience. We might not even be at the height of our pleasure- but once we pass that line, it usually ends the experience- or at least begins a very long trek towards the next climax.

I have learned previous to Beautiful Agony of some ways our bodies and orgasms are connected. Most of us know that all babies originally begin as female in structure, and develop from there. When you look at the penis of a male baby, you can even see how some women with large clitori have a clitoris that looks similar or almost identical in some cases. Hermaphrodites with half-developed penis' demonstrate this even further. So as you look over the male sexual organs, you can draw some parallels. There are intense similarities between the head of the penis and the clitoris- they develop from the same basic area, and the sensitivity (and often oversensitivity) of it- as well as the 'hood' when compared with an uncircumcised male- are similar. Then you have the length of the penis (some call it the 'shaft'), and the prostate, which both play critical roles (and anyone who has had an orgasm that was induced by stimulation of the prostate can attest that it is drastically different than without). In a woman, it is generally accepted that there are two major kinds of orgasms- clitoral, and vaginal. Each one feels distinct and different, and of course sometimes they interplay with each other. This is all knowledge I came here already knowing- that, and the fact that in order to have the most powerful orgasms, as a man I had to do a great deal of 'cooling off'. I could not just "push as I wanted", like most women can, towards orgasm- to get the most intense orgasm that even compared to a woman's, while masturbating, I had to work slowly and sometimes back off, then continue.

I watched several of the videos, watching women having orgasms and the process prior to it- while at the same time aware of my own feelings and paralleling what I felt and how fast I felt it to the various women. It is then I began to make some realisations. Most women's sexual experience tends to be primarily driven by clitoral stimulation- and most orgasms are driven, likewise, by clitoral stimulation (from what I have seen, heard, discussed, read, etc). It varies from woman to woman- but there are likely many women out there who have never even had a vaginal orgasm. However, with men, our orgasms tend to be driven primarily by stimulation from the length of our penis - and for those who stimulate the prostate/testes, this merely drives that sensation further along. The stimulation of the head of our penis is secondary- and the few times I've ever tried, out of curiosity, to stimulate -only- the head, it usually quickly became over-sensitive and I ended up having to focus on other areas.

When I realised, however, how stimulating the shaft often lead, by itself, to overly quickly approaching an orgasm- and I compared that to an average of how the women seemed to approach it... I realised that perhaps the issue here was, if I wanted to find a similar intensity, I needed to try seeing if it was possible to approach my own orgasms by primarily stimulating the head of my penis. It took time, and it was really tempting to divert to the 'normal way' when occasionally I'd try to encourage things along by touching the shaft. However, I kept to it- and quickly found that suddenly, instead of the mild and controllable facial and bodily reactions that normally occur with me (in contrast to most of the female orgasms I've seen), suddenly I had quite lost that control. My back was arching, my legs stiffening- my face making who-knows-what in terms of expressions. I've gotten sensations vaugely similar in the past, but never without spending a very, very long slow process to work towards it. In this case, as with the women I was watching, it was a slow but still a very steady process. No need for me to stop or cool down- in fact, I had to work to keep up the pace and found myself quite intensely focused.

With a 'normal' male orgasm, focus really is not always needed for me (and likely most men). If you stimulate it long enough, an orgasm will hit, and it usually is more destination-focused than an 'experience' in many cases.

I was really amazed when I was done, and realised I was as frazzled and out-of-breath as the woman I was watching who had just climaxed. I've experienced intense orgasms in the past, but rarely, and this was without a doubt one of the most intense. I quickly made the decision that exploring this kind of orgasm was definitely going to be number one on my 'to-do' list. Also, if I have already learned so much from my first time watching and learning from the faces and orgasm-experiences of women, I find myself curious what else I might learn over time.

I thought I would share what I learned, and experienced, and see what other insights others have- or perhaps might have gained themselves from watching these videos.

Sincerely,
Coro

Last edited by coroloro (2008-06-02 03:47:55)

Tiresias

Member

Registered: 2011-08-22

Posts: 2

Re: Watching BA helped me rediscover male orgasms

Hello Coroloro,

Many thanks for your email!

After reading your post once again and this time more attentively, I understand now the difference between both of us. You really made an experiment in the course of a sort of research. You wanted to learn something about women, and after you was successful with this, it became understandably a closed chapter for you.

My case is quite different:
After the officially not acknowledged definition I am an heterosexual autosexuaI. The importance of this lies in that it means that I did my experiment exclusively to augment my own pleasure.
Of course I also had to do a sort of research to reach this but it was for a long time only a self-research.

After having discovered the sensitivity of my nipples, or better rediscovered, remembering it from my puberty, I had the thought that the same "sweet bites" could sleep in my, at that time "anesthetized" penis, as Wilhelm Reich would have called it. Having already learned that slight pain can turn into pleasure I began with stimulating my glans, more exact: The spot where the urethra comes out, but not inside it (like it is common in a fraction of the Hand-free-Orgasm-Community, who uses electric devices) (in this connection I have a question: Are you, like most American men, circumcised?)

Before I began with my "pleasure-project" I had only two Girlfriends, who by chance had relatively weak orgasms.

15 Years later, at the beginning of 2010 I stumbled upon ifeelmyself and beautifulagony. It is hard to believe, but the first time in ten years of using internet for certain entertainment, not excessively but more or less regularly, I saw non-faked intense orgasms. Because they are always faked, I didn't take notice of the orgasms of models in the internet at all.

I was already aware that what I was doing was rather untypical for a man. But I only saw it as living up the "female side" of my personality. And still more often than the "glans-orgasm" I had the "shaft-orgasm". Additionally, approaching  my let-it-flow-orgasm, there were still remains of this typical male feeling that a cartridge is inserting itself into the barrel before one is going over the edge. As a man, one does not know how tiresome this "pistol-shot-announcement" is, until one looses it.

Not earlier than at IFM and BA I realized how  identical my own reactions toward sexual pleasure, having the "glans-orgasm", are with that of women. Motivated by the women of BA, who at that time mostly  had more intense orgasms than me, I began now refining my technique.
Already in the beginning of my "pleasure project" I combined the stimulation of the glans  with exercises of the pelvic floor, like it was described in "any man can".

The cause was:
In the beginning it was impossible for me to come without the "shaft"-stimulation. It was really torturing to have this strong feelings and not to be able to drive them to a climax. Being from Europe my conjecture is, that this area is in non-circumcised men  perhaps too sensitive. The paradox is: The better the feelings are the harder it is to come.

My thought in using pelvic floor exercises was, that my body will internalize the exercises and will, unintended by me, that means without any conscious effort, squeeze on its own the prostate gland to induce an orgasm when the pleasure is becoming unbearable. My schedule was: one day exercises, the other day masturbation. As I expected, this worked after some months. Only sometimes it was necessary to hyperventilate intendedly.
The method of the tantrists contains one simple but decisive mistake: They  stay in conscious control of their pelvic muscles during orgasm to reach a sort of pseudo-multiple one.

The clue is, to let it flow. Motivated by the women of BA I then carried my pelvic floor exercises to such an extreme that I developed what Wilhelm Reich called "the orgasmic reflex", which is the famous "bucking", when the performers are flinging themselves out of the picture, so that only the forehead and fierce eyes can be seen.

One time I also managed to keep my eyes open while "bucking". It was an unreal experience. Did you also experience it during your experiment? -If not, you should perhaps resume it. You are missing something!
Thanks to my excessive pelvic floor exercises  the hyperventilation now sets in completely unintended, or perhaps only half-intended, accompanied with an unbelievable feeling of "sweet despair" and at the same time the strong certainty (without the "pistol-shot-announcement") that "it" will happen.
Often it is said that exercises of the pelvic floor muscles can be done in public. The way I do it, this is not possible, because of the hyperventilation.

Since about half a year ago, I have now completed a total transformation of my sexuality. That I feel
the urge to make me a quick "shaft-orgasm" is now very seldom. My  memory of being a so-called man is already beginning to fade.  And the paradox is: It makes me feel more masculine than ever before! (and although not urgent it is likely that sooner or later I will meet a beautiful and passionate woman with whom I will have a totally new quality of relationship)

Dear forum-members. Please excuse me for trying to make a thread of such an old post! I will not do it again.