#1 2008-09-24 16:09:01

passiflora

Member

Registered: 2008-09-24

Posts: 16

re: concerned about submitting, privacy issues

I'm interested in submitting an agony because I believe this is really a work of art and a political statement worth contributing to.

But I'm really concerned because I'm a mom and there could definitely be custody issues if her father ever found me on any kind of adult site.

There are also possibly concerns about someone from your work, family, church, political party, your kid's kindergarten teacher or whatever! finding you here by accident.

I realize the identity of everyone is protected, I'm not worried about that.

I'm more worried that I could be discovered by someone who knows me... by accident, and facing consequences of whatever sort.

The artist in me is jumping at the chance to put in my two cents here and express myself. The mom in me is saying to be careful. And then the artist replies, "Well, fuck it, this is not porn, this is art, you said it yourself, and you are contributing to a very healthy and life-affirming project. Why would you ever have to apologize for that?" And then the mom replies, "Not everyone is that evolved that they would GET that."

What do you all think?

ashmedi

Member

From: S of the North 49th - Canada

Registered: 2006-03-10

Posts: 223

Re: re: concerned about submitting, privacy issues

I won't tell you to put yourself in a dangerous position if that is what you think may happen.
I'm Canadian, and a fair number of Canadian girls have posted here and on ISM or IFM. I don't know any of them. Canada is vast and has 30 million people and the chances of me seeing someone I did know are infitesimal. It's not impossible, just highly improbable.
And if I did see someone I knew, it is highly unlikely I would let them know unless I knew them more than "Oh, she's the girl who works on the 10th floor" and who I may never have talked to.
How big is your country, how many people in the population, how many people in your town or city? etc
It is a measured gamble and one that a number of people who contribute here have mentioned, most recently Ms1238 with her concerns.
Even if someone did recognize you, that may just foster lust or a desire to get to know you as opposed to telling the world you are an evil person, .................. because they would have to admit to being the type of person who frequents these nasty sites.
Wish I had a crystal ball and the answers to your questions but I don't, so I guess you have to rely on your heart, gut feelings, or logic.
Or you could just send me the submission directly ................... LOL   
I wish you well, and if you submit, I will appreciate it and love it.

PS: If you do I hope you post something to say passiflora is Ms1??? unless you want to keep the alias anonymous as well.  Good Luck

Last edited by ashmedi (2008-09-24 19:15:14)

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Ashmedi is an ancient god of rage and lust. I don't feel rage, but the lust part fits like a glove.

"Cheer up, things could be worse" somebody once told me. So I cheered up, and sure enough, things got worse.

cvrator

Member

Registered: 2008-09-09

Posts: 3

Re: re: concerned about submitting, privacy issues

I do not reccomend submitting unless you are 100% comfortable with it. I would, however, like to suggest you slap on a wig and a pair of glasses, if you don't wear a pair. If you do, take them off. I found a girl on this site recently that I swore was an ex-girlfriend from college. Honestly, I watched the clip several times to verify. I was convinced it was her. Finally, I thought to view her confession, only to find that she had a thick Brittish accent- one that my "ex" could never have pulled off. I'm certain that if you are absolutely commited to submitting an agony, and use subtle camoflage, you'll feel better about it and foil any possible attacks on your character. Really, if you're going to be associated with an adult site, believe me, there are far less tasteful ways to go, and it's easy enough to alter reality with a camera and clever lighting.

Message not proofread...... Thanks all! Hope you submit!

richard

Administrator

Registered: 2005-01-04

Posts: 692

Re: re: concerned about submitting, privacy issues

I'm just wondering what could possibly be said in court against appearing on Agony.  Try to put the worst spin on this site that you can, and what do you come up with...any takers?

Tonning

Member

From: Oslo, Norway

Registered: 2005-10-01

Posts: 88

Re: re: concerned about submitting, privacy issues

What you can’t talk about, either learn to talk about or stop doing. I think I’ve been going on about this in this forum before, but: You have to be prepared for people finding out. If you do not have a plan for that eventuality, maybe you shouldn’t submit an agony.

Norway is a small and open country and it doesn’t take much to recognize the language, even when listening to the whispered words who at first sounds like moaning. I’ve got several at BA on my list of Norwegians, mostly from AW and ISM, though. From BA I’ve only got a face and no surroundings. The AW’s seem to be made far away from Norway, which is safer.

Considering the number of possibly Norwegian and Scandinavian contributions held up against the small population size, the submitting of BAs must be quite common in my part of the world, and people submit much harder stuff. As far as I know, few have actually run into problems of those who have shown some common sense. On the other hand I’ve seen near fist fights at my job over Face book entries containing no sex.

Norwegian law bans “the indulging in or dwelling upon sexual organs and their use”, commonly paraphrased as “penis in motion”. In BA there is actually nothing besides my own dirty imagination.

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... neither cast ye your pearls before swine,
for the swine will slide - cast ye straw or sawdust!!

passiflora

Member

Registered: 2008-09-24

Posts: 16

Re: re: concerned about submitting, privacy issues

This is how I feel about it (response to everyone).

A) I really don't care about people finding me, as far as the embarassment/discovery factor goes. If I were ashamed to have someone find me, I wouldn't submit. I might even think it would be exciting to think that someone I know or like might stumble upon me, as long as it wasn't a family member. I wouldn't even care if my boss found me (I have a really cool boss).

B) I would care if my ex found out SECONDHAND that I was on there, because he is not computer literate and would never find me on his own. He would get told about it, and it would sound scandalous when in reality, I don't consider this at all scandalous. I don't even consider being a porn star scandalous, if that's what you want to do... but that's my own opinion, and yeah, that brings me to C...

C) I got divorced in a very conservative state. Without going into all the details, I do have reasons to worry about a lot of things right now custody-wise (not due to anything on my part), not as an immediate worry but as things to take precautions about. But yes, it's true, there is no reason submitting an Agony should be considered anything but being part of a documentary or work of film art, in my opinion. And as such that brings me to D...

D) I feel I have a responsibility to submit! I am an artist and writer, and I am very vocal in my work about masturbation and sexual autonomy (which doesn't mean you are celibate, it just means you are responsible for your own gratification and needs, which makes sex more fun and empowering for everyone). BA is a powerful work of art, and as an artist, I feel a burning desire to contribute something of my own to it. I also believe in erotic art that reaffirms the natural innocence and beauty of sex, and this is so much about that.

But...

E) It is good to realize that yeah, I can always wear glasses, or dress in drag or something if I am concerned.

So I guess now my only concern is... I need to borrow a videocam!! Must ask around... and remember to delete after. LOL...

glen_h

Member

Registered: 2008-11-12

Posts: 7

Re: re: concerned about submitting, privacy issues

Passiflora, you've got to do it. If shame is not your obstacle, I urge you. Your passion for art and conviction to your work are so strong, you must. You've seen the flashing looks to camera people give after they've finished their agonies. Happy. liberated, strong. As you say, empowered.

_gethsemane_

Member

Registered: 2007-12-10

Posts: 30

Re: re: concerned about submitting, privacy issues

I feel you Passiflora - I know its frightening to feel as though 'people' you know may see your O face - the idea of being recognised is pretty full on...

Although its taken a while I have worked hard to face the challenge of feeling comfortable with anyone and everyone I know and am yet to meet potentially seeing all of the work I have contributed to the erotica/porn scene. 

A few months ago I actually told my mum and dad - all of my closest friends have always known what I was up to but now I am as open an humanly possible about this stuff to everyone.

Although I do have a sole beautiful little niece that I've had to fight in court to have access to since my sister passed away, so I understand your hesitation.  I've thought long and hard about what I would say/do if my work here and on other sites was called into question. 

Ultimately its your call and its about your beliefs and values...  I hope you can reconcile the risk and come join us here on BeautifulAgony, even if you can't right now maybe sometime in the future... 

Maybe even film it and keep it until you feel safe to release it?

Whatever you decide, all the best

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Agony #220

scotishard

Member

Registered: 2008-10-11

Posts: 5

Re: re: concerned about submitting, privacy issues

If you are not comfortable in posting, don't. It is on the internet once posted for a long time. Your feelings are shared by alot of people they would like to post but in the long run is it really that important. You can enjoy the site, enjoy yourself, make a personal video for yourself and above all share in the forums.

If you were going to run for public office ,and in many cases businesses will now search for you on the internet as part of a background check and if you do not wish for them to see you, don't post. And you must respect your feelings for your husband and family. Don't take unnessary risk.

chica

Member

Registered: 2007-06-21

Posts: 11

Re: re: concerned about submitting, privacy issues

I probably wouldn't want to have much to do with anyone who would judge me for submitting to Agony. So, passiflora, if you find yourself a video camera, definitely at least go through the process cause it's an awesome experience. If you decide to submit it to Agony then great, and if not, you will have still contributed your energy to the project by doing it from a far.

1197

Member

Registered: 2008-10-09

Posts: 9

Re: re: concerned about submitting, privacy issues

hey passiflora,

Did you shoot yourself yet?

Seems to me you could be a true alpha, which means you can deal with anything without taking it personally.  If for this site and this shoot, or generally applied to life, the simplest thing is to stay out of the story.  All the characters in your world are only secondary to you, the star, and you don't have to entertain their story one little bit! All you need is to know in yourself that you are making art and life is an art! 

All the best honey!!!

1197 aka Gladys - the mother, the divorcee, the entrepreneur!

montay

Member

Registered: 2009-02-05

Posts: 4

Re: re: concerned about submitting, privacy issues

Hi guys...i know this is a dumb question...but i'm new to paypal and i was wondering what exactly is paypal address?

thanks

wms1099

Member

From: Texas

Registered: 2009-03-08

Posts: 16

Re: re: concerned about submitting, privacy issues

Passiflora,

Follow your heart, life is short, beauty is to be shared.

SexyAnya

Member

Registered: 2009-04-14

Posts: 3

Re: re: concerned about submitting, privacy issues

I actually have the same sort of problem as I want to be in the public eye eventually. I'm currently a student and I don't want my actions to affect my life later on. I don't really even consider this a porn site. I mean it's masturbation/getting off minus the actual showing of it. It's like who will recognize my sex face/shoulders, maybe the few that I've slept with and that's it. They probably don't even know about this site.

I'm with you on the activism part, I support a) safe sex, b) masturbation and c) being sex positive. An orgasm is a wonderful thing, plus think of all the pleasure your Agony would bring. It's just normal people getting off either by themselves or with their partners.

I plan to film my own this summer...if the timing works and I can rent/borrow a camera.