Mr. 0669's confession: different perspectives

donnylaja · 2006-11-16 12:58:38

I remember a discussion some years ago (it was in 1989) with a male friend and a female friend as to sex. She was talking about it being a spiritual experience, while the other guy and I were talking about it being more physical. She put it to gender differences. I always rebel against that kind of explanation. I thought, "If you spend a lot of time, effort and emotional stress trying to get something, you develop a different perspective on it than if it's yours for the asking".

Now here we have Mr. 0669, who says that he had "multiple partners" and people were always asking to have sex with him, till he got "burned out" and "sickened" by it and found happiness by going more spiritual with a single person, namely a woman who apparently practices Wicca or some other "witchcraft" religion.

He obviously grew up in a different time and place; my love life in my 20's was a pretty much an ongoing disaster, wanting-wanting-wanting and not getting, very typical of males of my generation. But I wonder if Mr. 0669 bears out my earlier observation. Is the pursuit of sex as a spiritual activity something one tends to do (or is only possible to do) if you are inundated with it? Is it a dessert that one cannot get to without having the basic meal first? Or is it a gender difference and Mr. 0669 is an exception to the rule? I'd like to hear people's perspectives on this.

Last edited by donnylaja (2006-11-16 13:35:09)

dclouesx · 2006-11-17 08:27:36

I think it takes a good bit of time and introspection in order to explore the spiritual part of sex. Especially at the very beginning, when it's so awkward, the physical aspect of it tends to dominate by demanding so much attention. After becoming accustomed to it, the mind is free to explore other things, to observe the process while performing it, and to learn from it.

Over the years masturbation became a spiritual act for me, to the point where now it's thrilling and different to just say the hell with it and rush through it with a quickness and physical urgency every now and then. The physical act seems to be satisfying a need; the spiritual act is much more, an exploration more than anything else, really. I wish that sex were at that point for me, but it isn't, generally. It will be one day, and indeed, every now and then it's so sublimely good that I honestly feel like I lose all awareness of the boundaries between me and my girlfriend, and those moments are the truly amazing moments for me. I happen to prefer the spiritual over the physical, because the physical is so tenuous; it's gone as soon as the experience is over, but the bond, the connection, either to myself or other, is permanent.

I'm hesitant to chalk anything up to gender differences, but I acknowledge that there are widely varying gender identities. They're largely arbitrary, more the products of our time than anything else, and they seem to be in a constant state of flux, but as identities they do seem to exist nevertheless. I try to avoid words like "masculine" or "feminine", and when I try to describe my sexuality both seem pretty inapplicable. I'm sexual, in a wide variety of ways, and they're all interesting in their own way.

donnylaja · 2006-11-18 12:47:01

Thanks for this interesting and thoughtful response. This is something that my wife and I can aspire to. (At least on those rare occasions when we're not exhausted from watching the kids!)

#1 2006-11-16 12:58:38

Mr. 0669's confession: different perspectives

#2 2006-11-17 08:27:36

Re: Mr. 0669's confession: different perspectives

#3 2006-11-18 12:47:01

Re: Mr. 0669's confession: different perspectives

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