how many in this forum have actually "done" an agony?

0427 · 2006-02-07 12:46:30

Hello All!

I did my filming about 2-3 months ago, and having just watched it for the first time yesterday, which was very very weird, possibly more weird was finding this forum section and the mention of my agony...

I gotta say, I am not really sure if I understand ... I get the delicious nature of the BA's, to be that up close and personal to another human being in those tremendous moments... but to what extent is this forum adding to that? taking away from that? undermining or supporting?
Please know that I am trying to understand the intention? There is an incredible level of exposure of self in doing one of these BA's, it's something that I am not regreting, but now recognising that I truly didn't phathom what of myself was being seen...

I originally heard of this site nearly a year before I found out that it was a Melbourne company, and that I could go along and do a filming session for it. I had already told most of the people I knew online to check it out, just on the principle of the work... the real erotic experience that far surpasses the "money" shot of porn. I get very bored with porn, if not bored, I get offended, the 'subjecting' of sexual experience that is mostly what the industry is about is but a %1 of what is truly available to us in sexual encounter... I ask myself often, why have men and women been trained to see such a limited level of our sexuality? such a limited parameter of "beauty", when there is just so much more!

Any one care to discuss?

I am looking forward to further exploration!

Katherine.

kirkpa · 2006-02-07 12:56:43

I thought your BA was very good very Beautiful.I liked the fack that you are not made out of plastic or silicone.I also liked watching you enjoy what you were doing to your self to experence pleasure.I personally like the sounds that you made during your BA.You shared yourself with alot of people most people masterbate alone they don't share that part.Next time you go shoping stop in front of a shop with a big window look at your reflextion you'll see a very Beautiful person

PC elmo · 2006-02-07 16:10:05

Thank you, Katherine, for sharing with us even more of your experience.

Many of us here share your curiosity/dissatisfaction about how mainstream porn gets its grip.

0427 wrote:

I am looking forward to further exploration!

Absolutely! I'm sure many -- most of us, most likely, considering over 12 thousand have registered -- who read this forum have never done anything like what you contributors do for BA. Besides the requisite wisecracks (aimed at each other or ourselves), this is where we sound our praise and appreciation for what we find on the site, and discuss, well, pretty much anything.

As to why so few of us, proportionally, have done or would do an agony, some thoughts suggested so far (I forget where each was -- definitely paraphrasing) : that there may be a vicarious thrill for some, that we are programmed to consume -- warped and trained by common porn or our societies in general so that we can only relate to being the viewer and not the viewee, and that appearance on this site might have a negative impact on job or family.

There are other contributors who have put in appearances on the forum. Usually, they have their 4-digit number as an ID, like yours, but sometimes they take other names, like Ruby and Merricat.

... I ask myself often, why have men and women been trained to see such a limited level of our sexuality? such a limited parameter of "beauty", when there is just so much more!

With you 100% on that!

0427 · 2006-02-07 23:46:02

Thank you for your replys,

PC elmo wrote: "As to why so few of us, proportionally, have done or would do an agony, some thoughts suggested so far (I forget where each was -- definitely paraphrasing) : that there may be a vicarious thrill for some, that we are programmed to consume -- warped and trained by common porn or our societies in general so that we can only relate to being the viewer and not the viewee, and that appearance on this site might have a negative impact on job or family."

I thought about that, what if I ever wanted to go into polotics, but then I would definately only go into polotics if this kind of self expression was seen as a strength, not a shameful act. I think that you are right about the viewee/veiwer and it'a a question why we have separated this, as modelling behaviour is one of our best sharing tools, most children will do as you do, not as you say, so when did the permission of seeing something done, therefore you can do it too, shift into something that is only done out there on the magic box, be it tv, film or internet? or did we have to make this separation due to all the awful things that are seen on the box?

Because of the lack of nudity, there is already a shift of where this sexual encounter is taking place, for me, through the eyes and sounds, face and presence of a person enjoying their own personal world, surely the act of being filmed can only assist others to bear witness to the ecstasy, thus encouraging them to find that within themselves? or is the separation between viewer and viewee on of standing up, out of the armchair, from the passive to the engaged?
I can see a very good reason for this forum if it will indeed assist with the engaging of mind beyond the question of "was she assisted or did she do that on her own"?

Enjoy your world! I know I do!

Katherine.

uri · 2006-02-08 08:44:34

Dear Katherine,
Youre a beautiful Agony and Im very glad about your participation in this forum.

I like this forum because it presents a possibility to give spontaneous ones personally opinion about an Agony contribution and to share it with other readers. Some people say: Ohhh, yes..., I have some way the same feelings, or...ahhh I didnt saw that yet and there are others with completely different views of the same Agony.

A perception is always a subjective personally feeling. There is no right or wrong. So my words about your expression was my feeling only.

Lots of beautiful agonies!
Uri

Luvcat · 2006-02-08 16:49:42

Hi Katherine and all who read this..

Been checking out this site on and off for about a year after reading an article about BA in the Adult Industry magazine 'Eros Magazine'. I have been enchanted by the site ever since and wish I could find more time to spend exploring it and replying to the forums.

This is my first post...

In reply to your question about why men and women have been trained to see such a limited level of our sexuality/beauty etc...
I love that you use the word trained, I agree, maybe would even go as far to say programmed?

That as members of so called civilised societies I feel we can be pressured by social values/mores, parents beliefs, media, religious beliefs, peer pressure and so much more in our societies to repress our sexuality. It really is a crying shame for me, as I feel so much that we do, are, buy, have, (not related to sex immediately) reflects our sexuality, but a great deal of humans try so hard to hide how we express the actual sexual act/play.

I feel part of the reason in my country falls directly to the government censorship board. The hypocrisy it exhibits with relation to approving nudity and loving acts in different media (very hard to get passed) opposed to showing violent acts (which are passed at such a high rate).
Makes my mind boggle and my blood boil that such beauty can be overlooked and deemed to be not fit for the consenting adult, yet violence is so readily accepted to fit for consumption!
I also feel strongly that in the adult industry there is an oversupply of 'tacky' dare I say, porn available and the little tasteful exotic and erotic that is available is hard to find. Which compounds the programming of minds to what sexual expression is, on such a limited scale.

These are only two reasons out of many that I have in reply to your question above...

Fortunately for me my upbringing allowed me to have the confidence to express my sexuality freely (which I'm still getting the hang of) and to understand the diversity in all tastes/flavours of sexual expression.

In regards to why in particular I have not submitted my own Agony mmm... let me think.
Not computer literate enough to manage it by myself, should get help.
Don't think it would get posted, where's my confidence now?
Worried about how small my town is and the kind of industry I work in, stuff 'em.
Not sure why I haven't, but I know I would enjoy it.

Thanks for your stimulating questions and replies...Luvcat

Garybob · 2006-02-09 04:23:08

uri wrote:

Dear Katherine,
Youre a beautiful Agony and Im very glad about your participation in this forum.
I like this forum because it presents a possibility to give spontaneous ones personally opinion about an Agony contribution and to share it with other readers. Some people say: Ohhh, yes..., I have some way the same feelings, or...ahhh I didnt saw that yet and there are others with completely different views of the same Agony.
A perception is always a subjective personally feeling.
Lots of beautiful agonies!
Uri

Almost right Uri. Some do not take well to "opinions" that differ too much from the crowd. You gotta know the neighborhood and speak like the neighbors speak or there's hell ta pay!

Garybob · 2006-02-10 17:57:02

0427 wrote:

Hello All!
I originally heard of this site nearly a year before I found out that it was a Melbourne company, and that I could go along and do a filming session for it. I had already told most of the people I knew online to check it out, just on the principle of the work... the real erotic experience that far surpasses the "money" shot of porn. I get very bored with porn, if not bored, I get offended, the 'subjecting' of sexual experience that is mostly what the industry is about is but a %1 of what is truly available to us in sexual encounter... I ask myself often, why have men and women been trained to see such a limited level of our sexuality? such a limited parameter of "beauty", when there is just so much more!
Any one care to discuss?
I am looking forward to further exploration!
Katherine.

Katherine:

Your last point here, about there being so much more is really perhaps the most mature comment I have read in this forum to date. You are sooo right. There is SO much more.

As you may have found so far, I am the lone voice in the forum that pisses everyone off by saying things that people just don't want to hear/read. And I'm about to do it again:

There are various levels of intimacy and sexual expression that mark the human experience. Which levels are shaken while watching porn on a computer, I believe, is subjective and will vary from person-to-person. Some view with nothing more than passing curiosity. Others with a never ending search for sexual stimulation which is characterized by what I believe stems from a void in other areas of their life. Then there are those who sadly host the childish hope of engratiating themsleves to the performer(s) and will react with violent and unbashed virulence when presented with unfavorale commentary. Some of that has been evident in this very forum.

There are a host of answers at issue with people who view porn, and/or engage in porn, all of which are rooted in the respective psychology of the indivdual. Some, and arguably many of those answers stem from "programming" as you mentioned, some stem from other influences, or lack thereof in an individual's life, perhaps family or life experiences, that when combined with social pressures, create a leaning toward gratification at any cost or behavior(s) in private that the individual would be embarrased if exposed on the evening news. Whatever the case, in all cases, as you've mentioned, there is more to the human sexual experience.

Finally, boredom from watching porn, particularly when one returns to it again and again, could be symptomatic of a void somewhere. Sex can be just as destructive as it can be pleasurable. Too much is just that....too much! We can get bored with anything. After watching/engaging/discussing the same thing over and over again, novelty goes out the window. In the case of sex, there comes a point when you've seen everything, or worse, done everything and then achieving real intimacy in ones life becomes and ever-increasing challenge. What results then is a never-ending search for more and more new things until one realizes, as you have, how exposed one has become. For some it would take far more than yourself. The sad part about it all is, once you've been 'exposed', there is no turing back! It's like releasing a bag of feathers in a hurricane and then trying to get every single one back....it can't be done. Politics? Surely if this is a consideration for the future, you must be well prepared to deal with your decision as your decision(s) today will surely be called into question and will affect any chances of success you could have. Politics is dirty business and filled with really smart people who build their successes on besmirching and castigating. Right-wrong-good-bad-fair-unfair...it is what it is!

I have never done an "agonee" no would I. I have family and friends that I respect, admire and treasure and who respect, honor and treasure me. But even if I didn't have those things, I would not because I am comfortable with who I am and what I am about and have no need to seek approval or excitement.

I echo the sentiments above in that your agonee was beautiful. From your posts, you seem to have an inner beauty as well. That you feel exposed now may or may not be an uncomfortable thing for you....only you know how you truely feel about it. Many of us enjoyed what you shared and are sure that, in the words of Rafiki, "You are more than you have become".

Last edited by Garybob (2006-02-10 18:12:42)

PC elmo · 2006-02-12 01:47:56

0427 wrote:

...I can see a very good reason for this forum if it will indeed assist with the engaging of mind beyond the question of "was she assisted or did she do that on her own"?
Enjoy your world! I know I do!
Katherine.

Aha! I was wondering who that was, who was enjoying my world!

Yes, the world can be an amazing and wonderful place. And sadly, the very tunnel-vision limitedness we are discussing with regard to sexuality also fits pretty well to the world outside us, too. So many paths in the woods, even if we could follow every one and blaze our own for a dozen lifetimes, we still could never meet every tree!

Minds are engaging. Expression, awareness, appreciation -- I see these welcome companions along side the primary indulgence here, whatever label we give it. And good company, too!

PC elmo · 2006-02-12 02:17:44

For those of you who are wondering, that next upcoming overkill is NOT a close-up of my furry exterior! Cheers!

joffre · 2006-02-12 11:46:43

Garybob wrote
There are various levels of intimacy and sexual expression that mark the human experience. Which levels are shaken while watching porn on a computer, I believe, is subjective and will vary from person-to-person. Some view with nothing more than passing curiosity. Others with a never ending search for sexual stimulation which is characterized by what I believe stems from a void in other areas of their life. Then there are those who sadly host the childish hope of engratiating themsleves to the performer(s) and will react with violent and unbashed virulence when presented with unfavorale commentary. Some of that has been evident in this very forum.

There are a host of answers at issue with people who view porn, and/or engage in porn, all of which are rooted in the respective psychology of the indivdual. Some, and arguably many of those answers stem from "programming" as you mentioned, some stem from other influences, or lack thereof in an individual's life, perhaps family or life experiences, that when combined with social pressures, create a leaning toward gratification at any cost or behavior(s) in private that the individual would be embarrased if exposed on the evening news. Whatever the case, in all cases, as you've mentioned, there is more to the human sexual experience.

427 wrote
I can see a very good reason for this forum if it will indeed assist with the engaging of mind beyond the question of "was she assisted or did she do that on her own"?

Enjoy your world! I know I do!

Garybob you're holding a mirror to some of us (on one side of the computer screen the agonee, on the other the viewer)
and
Many thanks dear 427 for this thread

0438 · 2006-02-13 07:05:58

I too have just recieved my password - though I dont think I would really watch it - not sure why as happy enough to look my pics on the ISM site. Love watching others though so very erotic - since I havetaken part in both websites I think it has given me a new sexual confidence - when perhaps before I was a little shy at coming forward in sex - however now I feel completely liberated and very excited about my next sexual encounter - wow - infact I can't wait!! laura xx

#1 2006-02-07 12:46:30

how many in this forum have actually "done" an agony?

#2 2006-02-07 12:56:43

Re: how many in this forum have actually "done" an agony?

#3 2006-02-07 16:10:05

Re: how many in this forum have actually "done" an agony?

#4 2006-02-07 23:46:02

Re: how many in this forum have actually "done" an agony?

#5 2006-02-08 08:44:34

Re: how many in this forum have actually "done" an agony?

#6 2006-02-08 16:49:42

Re: how many in this forum have actually "done" an agony?

#7 2006-02-09 04:23:08

Re: how many in this forum have actually "done" an agony?

#8 2006-02-10 17:57:02

Re: how many in this forum have actually "done" an agony?

#9 2006-02-12 01:47:56

Re: how many in this forum have actually "done" an agony?

#10 2006-02-12 02:17:44

Re: how many in this forum have actually "done" an agony?

#11 2006-02-12 11:46:43

Re: how many in this forum have actually "done" an agony?

#12 2006-02-13 07:05:58

Re: how many in this forum have actually "done" an agony?

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