#1 2005-09-30 16:38:33

chai

Member

From: midwesterner

Registered: 2005-09-29

Posts: 4

bliss

How many of you all are married?  Happily married?  Does your visiting this site in any way detract from that sexual relationship? 

In my case I'm concerned I fantasize too often, and this site certainly hasn't lessened my masturbation frequency.  I don't have a person to cheat with, but find myself thinking about that too often.  Once is too often I think.

I love my spouse & our life.  Don't wanna mess that up.  Do these thoughts occur with everyone?  Fantasies?  Thoughts of actually trying to hook up with someone?  Even, going ahead & going through with it? 

How often does this happen in America?  In Australia?  Europe?  Is it something one can really keep a secret?

Chai
male, 30

#0249

Member

Registered: 2005-09-28

Posts: 5

Re: bliss

I'm not married but in a great relationship which is soon to be become a marrage. Both me and my man visit (and contribute) regularly to this site and others, it's not a secret and niether of us feel threatened by the others physical interest in other people. Fantasies and intrigue about others are all part of the human condition and not to be felt guilty about. However I'm inclined to think that keeping them a secret isn't good. Sharing them with the person you've decided to share your life with is deliciosly exciting and for me has resulted in a wonderful warmth and trust which I've never encountered when I've held back and kept secrets.
Good luck with your thinking

ptr45

Member

Registered: 2005-10-04

Posts: 34

Re: bliss

How many of you all are married?  Happily married?  Does your visiting this site in any way detract from that sexual relationship?

I think this is a question without a simple answer. It probably depends on the situation and the people involved. I am happily married but I chose to not tell my wife about my interest in this site. I'm quite sure she wouldn't be supportive if she knew. However, that doesn't mean our marriage isn't happy or even that our sex life is bad. In fact, we have good times together in bed. However, I still enjoy my private masturbation, just as I'm sure she enjoys hers, and my interest in this site is just part of that.

My first wife was a different sort of person. She had a more experimental attitude towards sex. If I was still married to her I would definitely have told her about this site. My guess is that she would have been just as interested in it as I am. Certainly being able to share is nicer than feeling like you have to keep a secret. On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with an occasionally secret between spouses/lovers. I know my wife has some too, and I respect that.

It seems like, because you asked this question, you might be dissatisfied with your relationship. If that's true, try to address that matter directly. But keep in mind that no relationship is perfect in all ways, so be realistic about your expectations too. Anyway, those are my thoughts for whatever they are worth.

Last edited by ptr45 (2005-10-04 13:27:47)

chai

Member

From: midwesterner

Registered: 2005-09-29

Posts: 4

Re: bliss

Yeah - ptr45 - I tend to agree with you and function very much the way you seem to in your relationship.  It is not that I am dissatisfied with my relationship!  No siree.  Just that I *know* that my spouse would NOT espouse this site   Nor does she feel people should keep secrets from one another but I feel I know enough about life to know that there are some things that just are not for general knowledge.  We also have fine times in the sack but also enjoy our private times. 

Thanks for all the responses so far to this post!

-chai

I think this is a question without a simple answer.

Gorm

Member

From: Jelling, Denmark

Registered: 2005-09-25

Posts: 13

Re: bliss

I'm not married but in a great relationship which is soon to be become a marrage. Both me and my man visit (and contribute) regularly to this site and others, it's not a secret and niether of us feel threatened by the others physical interest in other people. Fantasies and intrigue about others are all part of the human condition and not to be felt guilty about. However I'm inclined to think that keeping them a secret isn't good. Sharing them with the person you've decided to share your life with is deliciosly exciting and for me has resulted in a wonderful warmth and trust which I've never encountered when I've held back and kept secrets.
Good luck with your thinking

The most destructive thing associated with infidelity within a marriage may well be the loss of trust arising from lying to a partner rather than the sexual act itself.

Your absolute love for each other is a pure joy to behold. I sincerely hope you both never ever lose that trust you have for each other.

Mrs #0249 I viewed your Petite Mort today for the first time- It made me feel so happy to be alive.

Thanks Gorm