Is sex real?

Sinsex · 2005-02-03 01:36:29

Sex seems to be like a urban myth, a collective dream that we love to dream. Our bodies and our imagination are the food for this being that exists only in our fantasies. I believe in sex as the plastic surgery for my reproductive function. Makes it more interesting and adds artificial beauty to it. Our senses are its ways of communicating. A smell, touch, taste... all this little things activate our memories associated with our sex fantasies and that is what truly turn us on. Thats when our sex comes to live. Thats the only moment of existence for sex. Based on that little moment weve created erotism to feed our desires, that are nothing more but the result of the infection that sex brought to us. Now we are all infected by this being. We mixed our love stories with sex. Sex is just sex. Pure and should have no names.

Sex is more exciting on the screen and between the pages of a magazine that it is between the sheets. Fantasy sex is much better than reality sex. Sex is our hedonistic perspective of our reproductive needs. Sex as the food for our human dreams; sex as the obscene word against Christian beliefs; sex as a marketing strategy; sex as a professional sport; sex as a political tactic. Sex as the cure of all social frustration; sex as violence; sex being always the best joke; sex as a lifestyle; sex for sex itself; sex as the three letters that conforms the concept and idea that weve created and inhabits our mind creating the fantasy that we live as real.

Bartholomew · 2005-02-03 01:46:05

Great post sinsex . I concur .
Glorification of the act . Magnified so much that it is a force on to itself . A beast roaming screens and pages and minds . Dreams of what we want if to be . Seeping into real life. Between the sheets is a different realm . Porn , advertising and movies do not align with life . They shadows cast from assirations of what we what real sex . These shadows in turn change what sex is to us .

Last edited by Bartholomew (2005-02-03 03:55:37)

ruby · 2005-02-03 02:27:07

sinsex- nice nickname ;0

ah yes- and if sex is an urban myth we are the story tellers keeping the dream alive!

Always striving for a better fuck- and more intimate connection, a better orgasm a better lover.. always searching for the perfect moment of pure bliss, our own ecstasy.

Which of course is not to be found out there! Our love stories true become reflections of the deep burning desire to be truly understood.

To have a lover that can read our bodies- the test of true love.

But we are still constantly searching trying to find the answer/ answers. So it becomes having a new car or new shoes or the best porn, which our culture presents to us as sex.. If you had this sports car, man you would get the best root on earth from this woman, and we believe it, cause we keep on consuming it.

Fantasy sex is much better than reality sex- but of course!

Fantasy sex does not have to involve a consenting adult- it can involve an adult, animal, brother can be as unacceptable as one wishes- solitary sex is the only time that we are able to indulge our every desire (regardless of how inappropriate the dominant culture deems it to be). So whey then do we continue to seek it? Why when I can orgasm by myself 5 times in 1 hr, do I bother seeking out partners?

Ell · 2005-02-03 05:21:47

Is sex real? Yep, I do believe so. There are moments of such exquisite connection, sharp and almost blinding in their luminosity, yet soft and tender in their embrace that sometimes I believe that I have ceased to exist as a seperate person. Only the sound of my breathing keeps me from believing it is so. Yeah, I think sex is real.

Last edited by Ell (2005-02-03 05:22:12)

Jo · 2005-02-03 10:31:31

ruby wrote:

Our love stories true become reflections of the deep burning desire to be truly understood.
To have a lover that can read our bodies- the test of true love.
But we are still constantly searching trying to find the answer/ answers.

Not only the wish to be truly understood and to find a partner that can read our BODY, but even more the wish to be understood in our deepest inner (soul) is the question that most people find no answer. For me (don´t know, how others feel about?!) sex is ALWAYS taking part in the mind and the soul. Only if I feel beeing touched and of course understood in my deep inner sex is a real experience. All sort of sexual action, where the soul is not involved is just satisfaction, but not sex (as I understand it...).

yYYYYy · 2005-02-28 06:23:44

nothing is

Jo · 2005-02-28 23:31:32

yYYYYy wrote:

nothing is

...what it seems to be...

We understand each other...

beatrice · 2005-03-05 06:25:21

ok, so maybe some of you who have been married awhile, or have been in long term relationships can tell me how do you not get bored having sex with the same person. i know i must sound way off, but my boyfriend and i recently broke up then got back together. while we were apart i slept with this aussie guy from seattle (love that aussie kiss) anyway, ever since then i'm just not that into my boyfriend. so this is useless girly horse shit, but any thoughts, fire away

TonyComstock · 2005-03-05 17:33:09

I've been a professional photographer and filmmaker for nearly twenty years. I often (half) joke that nothing looks as good in real life as it looks on TV.

This is decided NOT the case with sex.

-T.C.

Dragonfire · 2005-03-07 16:30:28

If you get bored having sex with any long term relationship...then it's the wrong partner. If sex real? Sure is! It's the ultimate aerobic and physical exercise...cause it's FUN!

However, there is a huge difference between "fucking" and making love...but I still haven't decided which is better. Love is an all night thing and very tender, while fucking is just pure animal lust.

The only thing I know is that after seeing BA, regular porn sites will never fit the bill any longer. Just a pity that it doesn't show some of these girls in full. Granted, thats what makes this site "Hitchcockian" (Janet Leigh shower scene...terrifying without the gore), but there are a couple of these ladies on BA that I'd love to marry...well, at least for a week or two!

elle121 · 2005-07-14 06:13:14

i dont know anything. When I was a 15-17 I didnt want to break up with a guy (he was a jerk) because they sex was amazing and I knew (even though I was a virgin prior) that I would never have sex like that again and it was absolutely true. Now I'm 29 , married with 2.5 yr old and JUST maybe had sex 5 x in 3 years..Idon't recall having sex this yr. that's for sure & ZERO desire for my husband. I get depressed at the thought that I may never have good sex again where we're both hot for it. Just needed to vent. sorry to hijack the thread.

Last edited by elle121 (2005-07-14 06:14:28)

No1steelerfan · 2005-07-14 09:49:17

Elle, maybe steer your hubby here right after they put up your freshly video taped agony submission and remind him of what he's missing. Just a thought. And I hope that again, one day, you find the passion you shared during your sexual awakening. Believe me, it's out there. I too just reclaimed the passion I had as a young man. If it can happen to an old fat ugly dude like me, it surely can happen to a spry, young person such as yourself. You haven't even reached your sexual peak yet. Don't quit trying, Never give up.

msnevil · 2005-07-14 12:03:16

Some questions:

1)
What made the Sex as a teenager "hot"? And now, "not"?
2)
Why does everybody have to measure up to the "Jerk"?
3)
Do you have a history of Perfectionism and\or depression (esp post-partum type depression.)

If you are seeking help, and are Shy to discuss personal issues on a "open forum". Perhaps you need to talk to a marriage councilor?

msnevil · 2005-07-14 12:04:30

Song of Solomon.

Beantown_Man · 2005-07-14 20:00:28

Re: Bed death (general, not "lesbian bed death")

Unless you're a wowser, the cause is often physical. For libido, sex hormones and brain hormones have to be right. Testosterone levels from a blood test have a 300% "normal" range for men and that's 5-10 times what a woman's level should read.

Brain hormone imbalance is poorly treated by doctors. Dopamine (desire and excitement) is elevated before sex, then seratonin (saitiation, contentment) goes up only after orgasm. In the states, Requip (a Parkinson's and now restless leg syndrome drug) has had some studies showing it effective in raising libido and counter-acting anti-depressant drugs depression of it. It can also increase desire for food and carbohydrates in particular. Topamax (anti-siezure drug) can counteract that side-effect. A little too much Topamax makes you a little dim and I don't think brunette hair coloring fixes that, just reduced dose.

No1steelerfan · 2005-07-21 23:49:35

beatrice wrote:

ok, so maybe some of you who have been married awhile, or have been in long term relationships can tell me how do you not get bored having sex with the same person...

There is always a place not visited in a while, an act that has not been done, a fantasy that just developed, or that needs revisited. There are needs that have been neglected or rediscovered. Routine is the enemy of a long term relationship.

Remember the things that used to get your blood boiling? The places you used to go? The spontaneous, table-top sessions? The quick gropes in the car at 65 MPH? That pinch as they reach for the best looking tomato in the produce section? That game of footsie under the table at a fine restaurant? Jumping in the shower with them with your clothes on? These little things, long gone from your repertoir, are what built the tension that made the sex so good.

pinguin · 2005-07-29 09:12:26

beatrice wrote:

ok, so maybe some of you who have been married awhile, or have been in long term relationships can tell me how do you not get bored having sex with the same person.

I suspect you can't, but is that really such a bad thing? This really ties in nicely with the original post. Sex is so overglorified that you're considered a looser if you don't do it at least twice a week.

I've been together with my wife for more than 20 years now, and sex has dropped from 3 times a night to maybe once a month. Does that mean I have a bad relationship? I don't think so. I love her more than ever and wouldn't think of leaving her or cheating on her. It's just that after so many years and two lovely kids the urge is not so strong anymore.

I regularly control my hormones with my right hand (thanks BA!) and I know occasionally she does the same. If that's what takes it to keep our marriage happy, I don't see a problem. Sex is not the cornerstone of my relationship, it's merely a nice pastime, like taking a long walk in the woods or going to the cinema.

Ell · 2005-07-29 12:28:45

We've been very happily married for more than 16 years and we're not bored yet, in fact it keeps getting better and better. Pay attention to what you think is important.

PC elmo · 2005-07-29 17:22:38

pinguin wrote:

Sex is so overglorified that you're considered a looser if you don't do it at least twice a week.

Yes, that's the sense I get, and that's never seemed quite "real" to me.

It's as though "the rules" (another discussion in itself) are that teens and early 20's don't need any excuses to have sex. Then, when the rest of life is forced into its neat little boxes, sex, like everything else, has to have its place -- it has to FIT. First, we must figure out how to fit ourselves into sex, then we have to figure out how to fit sex into our lives, even though we are the same person throughout our lives. That's just f&#@!*g twisted!

If I had to pick something individual to be real, I'd take the person (or "soul" or "identity" or "self" or whatever), with spirituality, sexuality, personality, and whatever goes along with it, then let "sex" (having sex, how often and how) take a back seat to the person's direction and intention.

Ell wrote:

Pay attention to what you think is important.

Amen to that!

Maybe then a strong longing for more sex is really a desire to return to the freedom/security/identity of a time when sex was more frequent. And of course, the FUN of it turns out to be only part of the picture after all.

There is more to sex than just the pleasure of it. "Sex" as ONLY a chemical high is definitely not real.

noaab · 2005-08-08 08:05:30

Reading through all this, I'm not sure I'm qualified to post. I had my first experience this weekend and I'm convinced sex is real. I think it definatly can be, and frequently is, turned into this societal glorification where, like Pinguin said, if you're not getting it twice a week you're worthless. But I also think it can be much more. My experience wasn't a loving relationship deal, it was just someone I'd met the day before and hung out with almost all the time from meeting her to sex. The connection we had during and after was unlike anything I've ever encountered. The physical aspect faded quickly, but there was a force keeping us together. I am not, and never have been, a cuddle on the couch kind of guy, but for the rest of that night that's all either of us wanted to do. I believe sex is real for those who want it to be. For the people who just want the glorified event so they can add another tally mark on the bed post, I think that's just what it is.

A side note, thank yall for the honesty in here. All yall seem to be out to say what you mean which I just don't see very much in people anymore. So again, thank you.

Jo · 2005-08-08 10:24:41

noaab wrote:

The physical aspect faded quickly, but there was a force keeping us together...

I think exactly THAT is, what makes sex real. Not the physical aspect but the connection between the heart and soul of the involved couple. Even if you just spend a night lying besides and NOT have intercourse this might be much more real than having a fast number without any (deeper) feeling. (except arousal, of course)...

salsasalsa · 2005-08-08 11:24:21

Sinsex wrote:

Sex seems to be like a urban myth
...
Sex is more exciting on the screen and between the pages of a magazine that it is between the sheets....

LOL. Urban myth, eh? Funny, I must have imagined all the great sex I've had with lots of beautiful partners over the years.

More exciting as printer's ink on a piece of paper, static, without skin texture, movement and sound, than with a real live person touching you and being touched, with the warmth of skin and the smells and sounds? Oh dear ... Even a pro is better than a magazine.

salsasalsa · 2005-08-08 11:26:41

noaab wrote:

Reading through all this, I'm not sure I'm qualified to post. I had my first experience this weekend ... it was just someone I'd met the day before and hung out with almost all the time from meeting her to sex. The connection we had during and after was unlike anything I've ever encountered. The physical aspect faded quickly, but there was a force keeping us together. I am not, and never have been, a cuddle on the couch kind of guy, but for the rest of that night that's all either of us wanted to do...

Good on you! Being with a person you enjoy being with, emotionally and physically, is the best thing there is.

PC elmo · 2005-08-11 19:08:10

salsasalsa wrote:

Being with a person you enjoy being with, emotionally and physically, is the best thing there is.

I think that's exactly the point (if there is one ).

Welcome, noaab, and thanks for sharing, and telling it like it is.

So you seem to believe, from recent and direct experience, that there is something more to sex than just the pleasure of it?

Some can theorize all they want about us being material animals and such, but I myself believe with this, as with so many other things, there is always room for something more.

erdna · 2005-09-01 04:22:49

Elle121, at 29, you have to do something to improve that kind of situation. As a woman, your best (sexual) years are not behind you but ahead of you. Do something, see a sexologist, take Gingko biloba caps, ginseng, talk with friends about that or change your life partner but do something. A good start would be a good complete medical check up including body fluids analysis (blood...) and try to be first in good physical shape by getting registered in a local gym. Good luck!

#1 2005-02-03 01:36:29

Is sex real?

#2 2005-02-03 01:46:05

Re: Is sex real?

#3 2005-02-03 02:27:07

Re: Is sex real?

#4 2005-02-03 05:21:47

Re: Is sex real?

#5 2005-02-03 10:31:31

Re: Is sex real?

#6 2005-02-28 06:23:44

Re: Is sex real?

#7 2005-02-28 23:31:32

Re: Is sex real?

#8 2005-03-05 06:25:21

Re: Is sex real?

#9 2005-03-05 17:33:09

Re: Is sex real?

#10 2005-03-07 16:30:28

Re: Is sex real?

#11 2005-07-14 06:13:14

Re: Is sex real?

#12 2005-07-14 09:49:17

Re: Is sex real?

#13 2005-07-14 12:03:16

Re: Is sex real?

#14 2005-07-14 12:04:30

Re: Is sex real?

#15 2005-07-14 20:00:28

Re: Is sex real?

#16 2005-07-21 23:49:35

Re: Is sex real?

#17 2005-07-29 09:12:26

Re: Is sex real?

#18 2005-07-29 12:28:45

Re: Is sex real?

#19 2005-07-29 17:22:38

Re: Is sex real?

#20 2005-08-08 08:05:30

Re: Is sex real?

#21 2005-08-08 10:24:41

Re: Is sex real?

#22 2005-08-08 11:24:21

Re: Is sex real?

#23 2005-08-08 11:26:41

Re: Is sex real?

#24 2005-08-11 19:08:10

Re: Is sex real?

#25 2005-09-01 04:22:49

Re: Is sex real?

Board footer